Colored Expectations

Published April 17, 2013 by beautifulbymystandards

Colored Expectations

This is a section out of my diary (which I keep on my mac) and I thought Id share it since my blog is pretty bare being that I just decided to share with the world what I was thinking.

October 6th 2012

I consider myself African-American and although my roots branch off into many other soils the visual truth is that you would see me as “black”. If I told you my grandfather was Haliwa-Saponi Indian and my grandmother was African-American, my mother a combo of both, my father Haitian American, and me some mixture of it all you would still see me as “black” and I’m fine with that because I know me and I know the color of my skin. As a black woman I can tell you now the stereotypes are NOT always correct as I myself have had my quite ignorance proven wrong lol . Let me give you some background on a conversation that took place between my mother, grandmother, sister, and I. I had pretty much introduced the idea that I would be moving 700 miles away into the city with a man my family had never met before. If that wasnt enough to hold the pause button the fact that when I said he was Spanish was. Because the mouths on my grandmother and my mother fell open in shock. 

Nelson is Spanish but he looks “malato” your typical mixture of black and white. But he’s not he’s 100% Puerto Rican. NOW MIND YOU I’VE BEEN KNOWN TO DATE BLACK AND WHITE, MY SISTER WHITE, MY MOM BLACK AND MIXED, MY GRANDMOTHER MARRIED AN INDIAN FOR GOD SAKES…WHY is a Spanish person so much of a shocker here? First thing that came out of my mothers mouth was ” What if he beats you ” lmfao…really mom? really? just freaking really? lmfao now I have heard the rumors of spanish men being brutal and the jealous type but for me that’s not just a race thing its an insecure man thing. To put the icing on the cake my grandmother ( bless her deep southern accent and heart ) says ” I’ve been to the island and peter ricans are hard workers to say the least…” Yes she went there. Peter Ricans.  I dare not correct my grandmother I know better at this age lol. I dropped my head and tried to figure out who turned on the fuckery switch and why. Pretty much this was a conversation set on a foundation of stereotypes. So imagine Nelson’s response when I gave him a verbal transcript of what these old birdies were saying. Although he laughed it up he mad some very valuable points and cleared up some things with me. Stereotypes are ugly! Beachflute has a blog on this topic alone where he taught a lesson during the fourth week of school about stereotypes and he asked his students to compile a list for all races. The list for African-Americans as you can imagine were typical and is as follows :

Stereotypes about Black people:

  • Stupid
  • Irresponsible
  • Crack babies
  • Teen pregnancy
  • Drop-outs
  • Incarcerated
  • Fathers leave their kids
  • Love fried chicken and Kool-Aid
  • Hard workers? Lazy? (there was considerable debate on this)
  • Athletic
  • Violent
  • Live in the ghetto/the projects
  • Wasted generation
  • Loud, obnoxious, rude
  • Nappy hair
  • Bad attitudes, disrespectful
  • Hoodlums
  • Poor
  • Obese
  • Dirty
  • Sex, drugs, porn, weed
  • Guns
  • Low job expectations
  • Speak different English

Now that we have that as a base let me confirm with you some things about me:

1. I consider myself intelligent. I attended christian private schools where it was like a 1:11 ratio and you couldn’t attend the school if you had a low-grade average and you also had to test in. Growing up my mother and father valued my education highly above all things that I did. So it was important that I made the most of their money if you know what I mean bringing home a “c” was like death to them.

2. Responsibility- I’m a responsible person as an adult and growing up that’s something I had to grow into. responsibility isn’t something that happens automatically its something that is learned and even then in the long run it turns into what you deem is responsible. There are some things in my life that I’m still learning today.

3. Ah yes the crack baby- My mother doesn’t smoke and doesn’t drink my father doesn’t smoke and I’ve never seen him drink so the drugs are out of the picture.

4. Kids- I have no children. I do however, own 4 dogs who to me are like children. My whole thing with that is I dread waking up in the morning and I hate taking the little devils outside so what in the world would make me think that Id ever be ready for the routine of children. I know better and right now children are the very last thing on my mind.

5.I graduated highschool and went to college drop out not present.

6. Never been to jail. And on the violent and hoodlum thing say what? I can defend myself yes but I don’t just jump at the chance to resolve a situation with my fist of awesome and deadly fury lmfao. Hoodlum? I’m such thug. The thug master, the princess of thug hoodville, the gang gang gangsta. Yeah-No. I admit I have facial beautification lol meaning it’s some metal in my face but I’m an artsy person and I take them out when I’m working or going to a dinner party or “up there” event. But that does not make me a hoodlum nor ghetto it’s my form of expression and while you might say it’s not attractive…well at the end of the day thank God it’s not your thing huh 🙂

7. My mom and dad didn’t work out as a couple but my father was present in my life.

8. Fried chicken (ew) lol I don’t know I’ll eat it but it’s not my first, second, or even third choice. Im more of sushi and steak kind of girl. In fact I bypass the KFC all the time for a trip to Salsaritas and a steak bowl. And Kool-aid Ew. It’s like sugar and water the hell! I like Snapple.

9. Live in a ghetto… 4402 lenox hill place charlotte nc. Ghetto my ass lol. check that out does it look like we were in the ghetto?  

10. Wasted generation…..the people as a whole took some backwards generational steps and that’s not just black its a people thing. White, black, green, orange…you understand.

11. Loud, obnoxious, attitude, disrespectful, and rude? I’m not a loud person. In fact everywhere I go people tell me to “speak up I have such a soft voice” obnoxious – yeah- no. Rude – yeah – no. Not my thing.

12. Nappy hair? My hair was curly but I like the straight look because I can do so much more with my hair if I dont have spring curls everywhere.

13. Poor – Im “young adult” poor lmfao because all my money goes into things I need and not my wants like a 2013 benz or a 500.00 purse lol  But I can tell you  Im balling on a budget I still have fun and my roof over my head is paid for by hard-earned cash ( and no Im not a stripper :|)  lol

14. Im chubby but since when is that a black thing lol I live in the real world and I’ve seen some fat people black, purple, white, yellow, tan you name it.

15. Sex, drugs, porn, and weed. Who are the “Awe-taws” that listed these??? LMFAO sex, drugs, and porn is a black thing? LMFAOOOO

16. Guns. Yes we own guns. My mother was a police officer in Charlotte so it was expected and also on the books. I have one living as a “single” female in New York when I first got here and I can tell you now working and taking public transportation and walking home at 2am from Harlem to Williamsburg, Brooklyn I have never loved my gun more.

17. Low job expectations I have high expectations in life and as well it applies to my job. Im working on owning my own boutique its something I’ve always wanted to do. Is it a fortune 500? No but its my own goal my own dream.

18. Speak a different english? Nope. I speak proper english for the most part. The most improper being words from where I grew up in the south like “yall” lol or “naw”

Sappy Love Picture

Are there any stereotypes out there that people have had with you in mind? Sucks balls doesn’t it? Sadly this is how the world views us. The actions of one person can condemn a whole race as unfair as it seems it’s the ignorant truth. As a black woman I fight these things every day I walk out my door in silence. People expect me to sound a certain way, to dress a certain way, to liste


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